Marriage

Homeschool Queen ironically has a distaste for princesses

I have never bought princess playthings for my daughter. Not a tiara, nor a wand. Not a Magic Mirror vanity, not a $10 princess gown. Disclaimer: other family members have bought these things for her – in which case I just smile appreciatively.

Don’t get me wrong, I never would outright BASH a princess.  I appreciate that Belle is an avid reader and that Ariel is a passionate learner.  I applaud Cinderella and Snow White for serving their families without complaining and growing bitter. Jasmine, Mulan and Pocahontas – the POC (princesses of color) are breaking all kinds of cultural legalism.  These are all good things!

The part that I struggle with is the idea that in most cases, the main character – an intelligent female – ends up looking to a man for her happily ever after. Frankly, my issue is more with our traditional misogynistic culture, than with these young women.

“Why does every princess have to have a prince?”

All three of my kids went to see Frozen, and they loved it. Many people around the web have criticized Elsa for her individuality. Their argument revolves around the assumption that her expression is sexual. This is interesting to me, because there is no love interest in the movie for Elsa.  She simply wants the freedom to express her gift without subjugation. Was she sexy? UH, yeah.  Was she using her looks and body to lure a man? NO!! Frozen blew my mind because it is a different kind of love story – TRUE LOVE IS SACRIFICIAL and at it’s core, has nothing to do with romance.

Friends, I don’t mean to sound judgmental. We have definitely experienced every disney movie ever made. I find it ironic however, that the spin for male main characters revolves around adventure and accomplishment. The spin for female main characters 9x out of 10, revolves around finding true love.  For this mama – I am looking for a different message for my daughter.

My hope for my little princess (warrior), is that her true love will be an equal, a partner. Her relationship will be one where each person respects and values the other. Mutual deference and honor. True love is sacrificial, for both persons, whether male or female.

Agree with me?

Wanna get in my face and yell at me?

What am I missing? Teach me.

What would you add?

 

It’s your choice

Recently, I sent a card to a friend who was getting married.  Inside the card, I jotted down the word “Choice”.  I couldn’t help reflecting on my own marriage as I continued:

  • Commitment is a choice.
  • Compassion is a choice.
  • Kindness is a choice.
  • Generosity is a choice.
  • Honoring one another is a choice.
  • Self-control is a choice.
  • Service is a choice.
  • Friendship is a choice.
  • Forgiveness is a choice.
  • Patience is a choice.
  • Partnership is a choice.
  • Quality time is a choice.

A good marriage doesn’t just happen. We cultivate it. The choices we make every single day determine the direction our marriage will take in the long haul. What choices are you making in your relationship?

Me and my man. Quality time by the fire.
Me and my man. Quality time by the fire.